★爸媽安心育兒系列★
育兒路上常常力不從心、手足無措?
雖然帶孩子已老神在在,但想尋求更多安心教養之道?
兒童心理醫師專業解惑,讓父母放下質疑對錯的重擔
在0~3歲最關鍵成長的這三年,
打造讓孩子勇敢向前的保護傘,
育兒從此不疲憊、不心累!
★從小天使到小惡魔,充滿挫折的教養路
從第一次伸手捧著自己的孩子開始,看著懷裡小小的、軟綿綿、紅撲撲臉蛋的小傢伙,身為父母的我們經常想著:「啊~希望寶貝平安長大,健康幸福就好。」但是隨著日子一天天過去,教養路上的挫折卻經常磨損了我們這樣簡單的信念。
本書作者經過無數次的個案諮詢與研究後,深刻體會家有幼齡孩童父母的慌張與焦慮,和聽不懂言語的小半獸人互動中產生各種失措與焦躁,加上旁人過多的指點,讓育兒路上更無所適從。
因此作者以兒童心理的專業角度,提出了「給對愛就不怕寵壞」的安心育兒之道,指引父母如何以正確態度面對彼此的「第一次」,如何給對孩子適切回應,察覺孩子的真實需求,找回寬心教養的力量。如果您是以下的家長,那麼你一定要看這本書:
◎剛走在育兒路上,每天看著懷裡的小寶貝卻手足無措的新手父母
◎已有老大經驗,但仍然覺得育兒之路好挫折的雙寶、三寶爸媽
◎育兒之路已經走得老神在在,想繼續探索安心教養之道的爸媽
◎希望能為寶寶每個成長的「關鍵第一次」留下回憶的父母
★能感受父母之愛的孩子最幸福
0~3歲的孩子講不聽、也說不動,從小天使變成了小惡魔,每天都在測試爸媽的耐心底線。面對哭鬧不休的小小孩,我們經常斷了理智線、煩躁不已,但是在吼罵過後,又開始懊悔自己的兇悍,又沮喪於自己的教養是否失敗的疑慮,甚至開始懷疑自己是否能養育出幸福的孩子。以下這些困境,身為父母的你是否覺得很熟悉:
◎寶寶哭個不停,餵了奶、換了尿布還是哭不停
◎孩子愛生氣,一哭就是一個小時
◎孩子只要不開心,就會打父母、丟玩具
◎家中兩個孩子總是吵架搶玩具,學不會分享
◎孩子愛搗蛋,常常在幼稚園捉弄同學
0~3歲時期,是我們能為孩子打造「自我肯定感」的心靈基礎年齡,所謂的自我肯定,簡單來說就是讓孩子抱持著「自己是很重要的」、「活得有價值」、「被需要」的心情。這不需要額外多做些什麼,就像被媽媽抱在懷裡的感覺,就算偶爾鬧個小脾氣,也能繼續一起大笑,透過生活中的點點滴滴,一起享受共處的時光,就能培養出肯定自我的價值。而書中作者還提出更多新世代的教養觀念:
1、落實「境教」,給孩子安心的環境
「境教」就是讓孩子在充分安心的環境下長大。有了安心的環境,就能養成健康的心態,才能培育出終其一生幸福的正向性格。
2、嬰兒的「語言養成」,跟孩子說越多他越安心
父母平時就要和孩子多說話,尤其換尿布、大哭時,將孩子的負面情緒轉述出來,「不舒服嗎?」、「寂寞了嗎?」,更能安撫寶寶的情緒。
3、撒嬌不是錯,適當依賴更會獨立
其實,孩子只要在情緒得到滿足,反而比較會說「我要自己做!」。不讓孩子撒嬌,就是對他撒手不管,這不是「獨立」,而是「孤立」。
★「寵愛,但不寵壞」,親子溝通這樣說
●孩子總吵著要買玩具,賴在賣場不走
【寵愛不寵壞的魔法話語】
1.同理孩子的心情「你喜歡這個對吧。但是說了不行,你很難過吧。」
2.哄哄他並抱緊他。如果沒有效果,就說明理由「但是,我們現在要……。」
3.即使這樣孩子還是不聽話,還是又哭又鬧,不行的事情還是要說不行。
反覆幾次後,孩子就會以自己的方式,學會這個家的規矩,也會慢慢聽你的話。
●孩子不收玩具,常常把玩具倒得到處都是
【寵愛不寵壞的魔法話語】
1.「你還想要一直一直玩對不對!」
2.「但是媽媽叫你把玩具收起來,你很難過對不對?」
3.「那媽媽傳送能收東西的能量給你喔!」
●睡前孩子要看卡通,說不行就大哭
【寵愛不寵壞的魔法話語】
1. 「小花最喜歡佩佩豬了吧!」
2. 「但是媽媽卻說已經晚上了不能看!很難過吧。」
3. 「我們手牽手一起睡覺吧。已經沒事了喔!」
★媽媽們的育兒兩難,如何將愧疚轉換為愛的力量?
作者在諮商時也曾遇到這樣苦惱的媽媽:「原本因為愛孩子而離開職場,沒想到專心帶孩子之後卻發現每次面對孩子哭鬧,就會煩躁生氣,然後又對那樣的自己失望。」
其實每個孩子天生的氣質、性格各有不同,無須太過自責,當你對孩子發火發過頭時,就想著「現在的他這樣就很好了」,試著放鬆一下,現在做不到的,以後或許就能做到,這樣想就夠了。
研究顯示,「自我肯定感低」的父母,較容易在育兒路上產生自我質疑與焦慮情緒,間接影響到孩子的心靈。書中針對自我肯定感低的父母,提出如何正向自我鼓勵的建議,在養育孩子的過程中,愛的力量讓孩子幸福,我們也因此願意變得更強大。父母們是否也曾出現這些情緒難處:
◎身為職場媽媽,卻好想請育嬰假,每天都想陪著孩子……
→並不是一定要媽媽二十四小時陪伴,才能養出幸福的寶寶。研究顯示,托育的時間長短,並不會影響寶寶的發展,而是鮮少與家人好好吃一頓飯,才會左右孩子的發展。
◎沒想到請育嬰假之後,反而覺得天天面對孩子更容易煩躁……
→請先暫時放下重擔吧!即使會支出一些費用,還是把孩子送托兒所,反而會減輕一些壓力,也會對孩子更溫柔。父母自己要先開心,才能打造出一個開心養育孩子的環境。
◎每次放孩子一個人看卡通,就覺得自己是個失職的母親……
→父母總是很忙碌,做家事、煮飯、處理雜事,很難專心陪孩子玩。無法馬上回應孩子的撒嬌、陪伴時,只要好好傳達當下的狀況與心情,就可以讓他感到安心。
本書特色
► 專業解惑,育兒路上不茫然
兒童心理醫師親自出馬,針對養育嬰幼兒容易產生的疑惑,提出讓父母舒心的解答,教你順利教好0~3歲小小孩。
► 分齡解讀寶寶各階段的心靈發展狀態
圖解實際育兒情境的正確與NG觀念,讀懂孩子情緒,就能輕鬆解決教養大小事。
► 收錄讀者共鳴心聲,負能量一掃而空
運用生動可愛的輕鬆情境漫畫、貼切有趣的情節,讓家有嬰幼兒的父母產生共鳴,看著看著就會爆笑與流淚,負能量也一掃而空。
Specifications 規格
Dimensions:14.8 x 20.8 x 2 cm | 5.83 x 8.19 x 0.79 in
Contents: 320 pages
Publisher: 和平國際
是否有注音:無
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